If we're so prosperous, why are we not happier?

Although we are healthier, longer lived, better educated, more prosperous and better connected than ever before in human history, many of us are, somewhat ironically, increasingly dissatisfied with our lives; more than a few are unhappy. 

Only a very few feel fulfilled. 

The quest for sustained happiness eludes us. No matter how hard we try. Or …perhaps: used to try!

Is there anything more elusive than achieve lasting changes in their lives? We can make a decision to change direction,  but … our inner voice often tries to undermine us. For example: "Who are you kidding? Dieting again? You never succeed. Why set yourself up to fail? Forget it!  Have some more chocolate; it will make you feel better!” 

Does that sound familiar? 

It’s not just the challenge of weight loss: we also desire to feel healthier, have more wealth, more energy, more confidence, a better relationship, less stress, perhaps stop smoking  — and yes, more joy! 

Although we often consider these to be lost causes, we often persist. So we try. Some succeed, apparently — judging by the incessant promotional emails selling you their magic formula for happiness.

But we know, deep down, that inner contentment is … elusive. 

We know we SHOULD be able to lose excess weight, pay off those ruinous interest rates on our credit card, and find more joy. 

So why can’t we? Why is it so damnably HARD?!!? 

Here’s why. Although we may well set realistic goals, lap up inspirational quotes and carefully plan personal development strategies — all of these often miss the target.  

They are rational. They are all directed at our logical, intelligent mind. We (blithely) assume our logical brain, our power of reason, our intellect, is running the show, that it’s in charge and only needs the right instructions.

But we forgot … or perhaps didn’t consider — something more important…

We usually neglect to recognise that how we FEEL governs how we behave. 

And so much of what we do is done on autopilot. Not driven by rational decision making. 

So how do we ensure our aspirations for change are aligned with how our subconscious feels about change? 

How do we switch off the autopilot that keeps us doing what we have always done — so we always get what we always got? 

Change, particularly for those of a certain age, has to overcome spirited resistance from deeply ingrained hard-wired habits. 

Think back over all those habits you want to change. How long have they been established? Our minds don’t get automatically programmed afresh every night while we sleep. What we habitually do becomes a pattern that gets reinforced day after day after day. So just telling ourselves that we want something different has to compete with “this is what you’ve always done, so this is what you’ll always get”. After all, we need certainty in our lives. And established patterns work to satisfy that need.

We are, after all, what we repeatedly do. If we want to change that it will be a challenge, but it’s not as difficult as you might imagine.  You can re-train your mind to ensure you can bring about change. Much of that is developing the confidence to know that the effort needed WILL pay off with outcomes you want to see.